The bobsled team did not lose as much weight as the men’s downhill skiers. This resulted in bobsledder Ethan Albrecht-Carrie getting called into the boardroom and boom- you’re fired.

Stev D on last night’s episode of the Winter Olympics on NBC.

i sleep on my back cause it’s good for the spine anddddddddddddd coffin rehearsal

Yoni Wolf of Why? on Fatalist Palmistry

If little Collins is anything like big Collins sounds good.

Found in the spam pile.
Originally Posted By areminder

I was reading my students’ paragraph essays, feeling my soul wither with each word. The paragraphs were in response to a prompt: “Where do you go to be alone?” All the students, except one, went to their room to be alone. The exception was Daryl Ellington, who went to his rom.

Further Interpretations Of Real-Life Events by Kevin Moffett (appears in McSweeney’s 30)

This quotation taken out of context doesn’t reflect the pathos of this story…but needless to say, it’s great. Funny, sad, and smart. In all the right amounts.

(via areminder)

Originally Posted By youngmanhattanite

Ohhhhhh, so that is how Tumblr is gonna make money. I “get it” now.

Young Manhattanite on Tumblr user’s current dashboard header.

But Christ just imagine it, there you are on some island paradise, alone with a ridiculously expensive cocktail, contemplating the serenity, perhaps reading Proust, when in the distance, you hear their thunderous hooves, the stomping of inappriate footwear, the shrill, maddened barking, the howls. They stampede into your bar, a melee of glitter, beads, ridiculous plastic things that dangle, the unpleasant organic smell of long chain monopolymers from spray tan lotions, ‘Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!’ They’d heave and exclaim evangelically, demanding bigger and ever more fruitier drinks. You’d shrink into a booth, praying they wouldn’t see you, but eventually they would, and they’d descend like hungry buzzards, circling at first ‘what you reading? for?’ before coming for your very soul.

Zeta fears a women’s only Contiki Tour on The Punch.

Good call on Bon Iver. Bogans love Journeymen musician, of the ‘competent but undistinguished’ variety. I’d suggest that the first record was hype, largely based on the ‘tortured artist’ press release story of ‘breakup, wah wah, cabin in the woods, pour your heart out…’ I assume ‘Emma’ left him because she hated his dull and average music as much as I did.

Anonymous Bosch on bogans listening in to Bon Iver in the near future.

Yummycherrypie89: don’t get me wrong or anything. i get ur comment, i really do, but i’m 14 and i truly do understand the lyrics of the song… so, there’s were u r a little bit wrong and i’m sure that other 14 year old girls and boys would agree with me too. just because we r in our ”pre-teen” years, as u call it, doesn’t mean we can’t truly understand the lyrics and the true meaning of a song. please don’t get this the wrong way. i’m just trying to state a point. HOPE U HAVE A GREAT DAY! =)

A YouTube comment about Death Cab For Cutie’s Meet Me on the Equinox video.

At my job, someone once put Nelson Mandella on a poster promoting a jazz fest in our city. The boss and everyone were very pleased with the design (it wasn’t good) and when they asked for my pov I asked “why’s Nelson Mandella on this poster?” The person designed it said “because you fool he’s a jazz musician that’s why he’s famous.

(via Videogum)

Hey I tried to install windows 7 alpha but now my computer doesn’t work? I have a problem with my computer since I installed mega-zob-toolbar; please fix it. My kid gave me Adobe CS12 Mega Ultra Designer Pack-DOMINO-REPACK-XXXX to edit that PDF can I have admin right to install it? Hey, I’ve been trying to send that DVD by email for the last three days but it doesn’t work and by the way the email server is very slow. Oh that? That’s my home wifi router so I can work from the rec room. Really?? This Azureus software prevents other people from working? I can’t see why. Hey IT guy why do you pretend it’s my statistical report that i made myself in access that slows the database? I’m not even using the database; only access. Why won’t you let us send .exe file by email!!!! THIS IS A BUSINESS REQUIREMENT!!!! You’re working AGAINST the business!!!

Oh users… (via Slashdot)

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