The Falls Festival + Saturday Night Fever: Day 0

• Author: Mike
• Filed under: Music, Travel
• Date: Monday, December 31, 2007

About four months ago I decided that I’d go to a festival for New Year’s. Traditionally I don’t lot for New Year s, preferring to stay at home, drink and watch the fireworks from my backyard. When the rumours of Girl Talk, Gogol Bordello and Jose Gonzalez came up (amongst others), I stuck my name in the ballet and figured if I got an offer I’d take it, otherwise I’d just go to one of the other shows (Pyramid Rock and the Hip-Hop Showcase at the Corner Hotel were my two picks, in that order). Sure enough, I got the option to buy on the first day and took it up instantly.

So I worked out what I needed for camping supplies and saw the line-up announcements. No Gogol but the rest of the picks weren’t that bad – The Go! Team, Busdriver, Lior, The Herd, and a bunch of others that I’d hope I would discover. But as things got closer I wussed out and booked myself a nice hotel room just off the main street. While I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t write another entry until I finished my America trip report, I don’t want to put writing this off forever – so here we go, Day 1, even if it is Day 0.

I left Melbourne fairly late at around 3:30 as I wasn’t really worried about missing a few acts. The drive through Werribee and Geelong was fairly dull but picked up once I got on the M1 towards Colac - full of fields with hay bales and large hills. The drive got really interesting once I got past Winchelsea and went straight into the forest. Sweeping turns, constant drops and jumps, cars pulled over to the side of the road and hitchhikers wanting a lift into town. I let out a cheer when I saw the “Welcome to Lorne” sign, knowing that after two and a half hours I was finally here. The hotel took about ten seconds to find, so it was just a case of finding a parking spot and checking in.

I had a scope of the area. Main building, lots of side-buildings to the left and right. Lots of yelling, lots of beach towels. At the check in area, two girls asked if they had any vacancies – no love. I checked in without a problem and moved my car. The hotel is right next to the local lawn bowls club and has a camping area just behind that, so there was lots of fence jumping from the campers as they used the facilities the hotel had to offer – swimming pools, lawn and sand tennis, plus a large soccer field.

I then attempted to find my room which was a Spinal Tap finding the stage style effort. I figured I’d try and find my parking space first, but there wasn’t a parking space to be found, great. Each building is separated into ten to twelve rooms, so I found the building my room was in and then attempted to find the room. The place is overly secure – each building has a room key, then each group of rooms (each group is two-three rooms) has a key, then each room has a key as well. It took quite a while for me to find my room, as the signage is non-existent but after a few laps I was in and dropping my bags.

It was about 6:45, and if I got the next bus to the festival I’d be there in time for Jackson Jackson but I wanted to relax for at least the hour – get something to eat and work out where everything is. After the standard phone call home and visit to the Gents, I headed to what looked like the local hang-out – the FoodWorks supermarket. People were stocking up mainly on one thing, booze, booze and more booze. I picked up supplies – water, booze, corn chips, raisin bread, fighting my way though the eight items or less section before getting out of the hell hole.

With time to kill, I got stuck into my corn chips and tequila while watching TV. The last bus was at 9pm, so I figured I’d get the 8 o’clock one. The Falls bus takes off on the hour from the Lorne School straight into the Festival, and back. I head out of my hotel at quarter to eight and walk to the school, which is lucky to be maybe a block and a half away from my hotel room. A couple of Falls event staff are sharing a drink with festival goer, and I board the coach as I’m on my way to the festival.

The drive takes us on a similar winding road to the one I took driving into Lorne. We pass the streams of traffic, filled with camping gear and groups of friends, ready for a weekend of music. The bus drops us off right near the festival gates, and most of the festival goers walk towards “The Big Top”, where our tickets will be exchanged for wristbands. Passing the clumped group of shops selling shoddy t-shirts, I got my wristband and looked out at the main stage – I had arrived (and Jenny Lewis was bringing me in).

The entire festival takes place on a hill – the main stage is at the bottom of that hill so you can sit just about anywhere and get a decent view. On the left and right hand sides are various food stalls, a merch booth and the big booze tent, where the majority of people were. Five dollars for a beer, seven for a can of spirits and people were going apeshit over it. I walked through the flat area in front of the main stage, and saw the hundreds of flattened beer cans. It was only 8:30 yet I saw people who were struggling to walk. I just don’t get it obviously, you spend $200+ to buy a ticket for this festival to enjoy the tunes and vibes, yet then spend the same amount getting shitfaced so when people ask you how it was, all you can say was “it was good”? Maybe I’m just too much of a prude.

Sarah Blasko was the first artist I saw. She wasn’t in her fifties style headmistress outfit, but she still brought out her ridiculous dance moves. In my opinion, Sarah makes incredibly dull music so I think I’ll leave my review at that, but I’ll point out that she played a countrified version of “Don’t U Eva”. At this point I realised how cold I was – really, really cold. I looked in my wallet, $65 and worked out what my options were. I could buy myself a t-shirt and layer it on, keeping me warmer. I could spend it all on coffee. I could go home now – nah. I then realised that I had an extra $15 – score! I went to the merch booth and blew the lot on a jacket, I wasn’t buying anything else that night but at least I was warm.

Up next was British new-wave group New Young Pony Club who came close to bringing the house down with their eighties style pop tunes, lead by charismatic frontwomen Tahita Bulmer, even if she was unsure if she was in Melbourne or Lorne. Apart from having a really hot and talented female drummer, the band was heavy on the synth and echo effects so just about every song was booming from the speakers. New Young Pony Club also performed a cover of Technotronic’s “Pump Up The Jam”, although I think if they played The Gossip’s “Standing In The Way Of Control”, they would of done great justice to the track. They are a great outfit, and their latest will be stuck on my iPod for the next few months.

I decided to go down the front for Magic Dirt and managed to get right on the rail to see them perform. The band had sound problems for the majority of their set and didn’t sound the best, with little to no base being heard. Lead vocalist Adalita was looking hot as usual so it wasn’t all bad, and Dirty Jeans sounded pretty decent too. I was offered pepper spray from a security guard, followed by fruit jubes from the same one as short time. I also watched a camper in a kimono attempt to get her way backstage with no success, even surfing over the rail at one stage only to be forced out. The security I saw seemed like pretty good blokes who only showed aggression with people who gave them aggression in the first place, so top marks so far.

After Magic Dirt, I decided to go back up hill to take a seat and see Groove Armada. I flicked through the programme for a little while in the dark, when a couple of girls took a seat between me and had a chat about music, my lack of camping and various other things. I encouraged them to see Girl Talk, they encouraged me to come to Splendour In The Grass. I’m now convinced that people from Sydney are nicer then people from Melbourne, despite what one of my friends thinks.

I didn’t stick around for long at Groove Armada, the cold winds were just getting to me way too much. The ten piece who looked more like a five or six piece started about twenty minutes or so late, so I saw them perform My Friend and then decided to head back to the bus stop. A short time later I was back in my hotel room, day one over.

Was it really worth the extra fifty bucks for the Saturday night show? In retrospect, it probably wasn’t for me. But on the upside, there are more acts I want to see and get right into. My day will probably start at 2pm, taking in Lior, The Herd, Cut Off Your Hands and The Paper Scissors amongst others.