My Funny Tonne 2010 end letter

This will be going up sometime tomorrow on comedyfestival.com.au, but here’s the early edition for you SCOOPz guyz. Sorry that it’s so long:

Howdy y’all,

It’s over. 26 days, 44 venues, 5 locations, 310 performers on stage, for a total of 133 shows. A new individual record for the Funny Tonne – I still can’t believe I only dropped three shows from my schedule.

I got to shows by walking, train, tram, being dropped off, driving, taxicab, and horse carriage. I saw shows in art galleries, backpackers, bandrooms, bars, broom closets, converted offices, multi-purpose rooms, and theatres. I had artists invite me to their shows, refuse me at the door, snub me, swear at me, spit on me, complain that I wasn’t laughing at their jokes, complain about Melbourne audiences, complain that they weren’t nominated for any awards, complain that they weren’t making any money, tell jokes to me, make jokes about me, bring me up onto stage, make me participate in their show, mock my suggestions when they ask me to participate in their show, point out that I’m doing the Funny Tonne, point out that I’m reviewing the show, offer me drugs/alcohol/sex/stolen property in exchange for a good review, give me gifts, ask me to come out drinking with them, make me grab their breasts. I’ve made new friends, I’ve made new enemies, I’ve bought merchandise, I’ve jaywalked, I’ve cut people off, I’ve said the wrong things, I’ve been accused of being a child molester, I’ve gotten to shows late, I’ve left shows early, I’ve been too excited, I haven’t laughed enough, I’ve peed my pants, I’ve been sick, I’ve drunk way too much Bulmers cider (responsibly), I’ve eaten way too much food in burger form.

I think it goes without saying, but I’m tired.

Doing the Funny Tonne is the best worst thing I’ve done in my life. The Funny Tonne made me push my mind and body to new limits I never thought I could. For example: I now know that I can make it from Trades Hall to the Melbourne Town Hall in ten minutes flat, but getting from Trades Hall to Gertrude Street is about twenty. Interesting!! I’ve also learnt that it’s a bad idea to put me in front of a microphone in front of a room full of strangers and judging comedians (sorry to those at Festival Club on Saturday night. Then again, I did have bad jokes to tell…) Ultimately, completing the Funny Tonne and witnessing all this amazing creatively has me inspired to focus on my own projects in order to fill a void that has quickly become apparent.

I have to give massive amounts of credit to my two fellow Funny Tonners, Anne Bravos and Heidi Kinsey. I had a blast hanging out with Anne while we discussed the Billy Connolly Westgate Bridge sketch from a 15 year old television show or argued over who put on the best kids show (I took List Operators, she took Damian Callinan). I have ridiculous amounts of respect for Heidi, who isn’t a comedian going up on stage at Shaggers and doing ten minutes worth of storytelling without having any fear of bombing or being heckled. I could never do that.

A lot of people made this happen for me. I wish I noted down every single name that helped me, but I didn’t think that far ahead. So I apologise for the vague descriptions that are coming up next.

Thank you to:

Gideon James, who ran the Funny Tonne in 2010 while doing loads more important stuff during the festival. Gideon related to how surreal the competition was to his times at Edinburgh Fringe, where the world would seem to speed up and slow down at the same time. An apt description if there ever was one.

Alan Hay and his offsiders at the media ticketing office. Being handed a stack of 60+ comped Ticketmaster tickets when the competition first began made my eyes pop out of my head. But they were always there when I was crazy enough to change my schedule and needed to return tickets, up for a chat and a drink. Great people.

Jason Tamiru, who sent a ridiculous amount of e-mails on my half to independent producers so I could see their shows at the festival. He must hate my guts. I owe this man massive amounts of gratitude and liquor.

The various staff at festival managed venues that scanned tickets, guided people to their seats and answered questions. All (apart from one nameless individual at the Town Hall) were super nice, willing to sign off my attendance sheet and chat about the festival. In particular: the ass-kicking awesome lady looking after the Evatt Room at Trades Hall, the supportive lady at the Ballroom at Trades Hall, the super friendly lady at the Backstage Room at the Town Hall, and all the festival staff at the Lower Town Hall, the Swiss Club, Rosati and the Forum Theatre.

In addition to the above, I’d also like to thank Tim Woods for being a total class act and a person who I will now support unconditionally for every artist he promotes, the box office staff at the Forum Theatre (Melbourne’s best venue), and the entire team at the Tuxedo Cat who always welcomed me with open arms.

I have to thank the following artists who I now have massive man-crushes for, who were awesome to me both on and off the stage: Todd Barry, Simon Keck, David Smiedt, and Sean Lynch.

The following artists/producers who were willing to put me on the door and allowed me to see their shows: Andrew Lonsdale, Catherine Churchward, Margaret Paul, Ruth Stanton, Clem Bastow, Glenn Elston, Luke McGregor, Terry North, Jamie McCarney, Nik Coppin, Michael Colcheedas, Justine Sless, Sally McPhee, Kelly Fastuca, Dylan Cole, Karl Woodberry, Richard McKenzie, Josh Ladgrove, Bradley Tomlison, Maureen Hartley, Ben McKenzie, Scott Steensma, Courteney Hocking, Meg Deyell, Sharyn Booth, Micah Higbed, Tommy Dassalo, Mick Neven, Shane Matheson, and Lynn Williams.

A big thanks to all the people in the festival office who looked after the online side, and read through our reviews, Facebook posts, and tweets to make sure everything went swimmingly. To those of you who followed the Funny Tonne journey on the comedyfestival.com.au, and via Facebook and Twitter, thank you so much – it makes it all worth it. I hope you had as good a time at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival in 2010 as I did. To everyone who was a part of a show this year – thanks for doing what you do. You make Melbourne such an exciting place to be.

A final thought. As happy as I am that I’ve seen 133 shows, I still have 12 more shows to see between now and the festival’s return in 2011. Please join me and support local comedy in Melbourne – it allows for artists not only to develop new ideas and concepts, but to develop as artists. As an added bonus, you’ll be able to suggest some great local acts to catch at the 2011 festival to friends while not feeling guilty about seeing Arj Barker for the seventh year in a row.

In the words of Todd Barry – “keep smiling.”

Cheers,
Mike